Gridiron Girl


Fabulous Fantasy Football Tips and Tactics by BDazzle

Hey All! With fantasy football draft season  in full-swing, who better than me, Gridiron Girl — an expert of all things football AND fabulous —  to give you a list of fantasy tips…

Get Pumped.

  • No one likes a mindless follower, so zig when everyone else zags and select a kicker with your first pick. This will signal to everyone that you’re not going to abide by their preconceived notions of “strategy” and “competence.”
  • The second round is considered the “Alliteration Round,” so be on the lookout for players like Ray Rice, Brian Brohm, Joe Jurevicious and Wes Welker.
  • Handcuffing is essential for Fantasy Success — be sure to draft a lot of Cincinnati Bengals.
  • Follow punter stats closely — field position affects scoring on all three phases of fantasy football.
Brad Maynard devastates another Fantasy Team.
  • Know your league scoring format; some leagues use “PPR” scoring. If you are in a Points-Per-Retribution league — where points are scored for cheap shots and poor sportsmanship — consider moving Hines Ward and Albert Haynesworth up your draftboard.
  • Be aware of “bye weeks”: The more players you draft with the same bye week the stronger your team is for the rest of the season.
  • If your draft is in-person, nothing intimidates other owners like the severed head of a pig perched precariously close to the edge of your drafting table.
  • Drafting live is like playing poker. Make sure to wear sunglasses and a promotional hat.
  • If you pick up a Gramatica early, make sure you nab a sibling deeper in the draft… You never can have too many Gramaticas.

  • A league is not won on draft day, but it can be wasted away in a blur of hotwings and Monster energy drink.
  • Remember, fantasy football is primarily for losers. You can avoid this stigma by periodically reminding everyone that you’re still cool by performing Austin Powers impressions and referencing Bud Light commercials.
  • Consistent, and accurate-throwing Chad Pennington is a low-risk, high-reward, fucking-boring choice for QB.
  • Utility players like Chris Cooley are especially valuable; Cooley will have tight end, running back, and finger-pointing duties for the Redskins this season.
  • Drafting other owners’ backup running backs is an excellent way to throw away draft picks AND be a dick.


Arrowheads are Obsolete by Matthew Dangerfox

Kansas City isn’t known for its nightlife, but excitement can be found if you know where to look. However, not all of the action is begging to be explored. When LJ gets dissed, there’re more than words that come out of that mouth. Although the lady in question may have wanted another drink, she probably would have preferred it in a glass. If this running back gets removed, will the Chiefs be able to turn their tepees into TD’s?

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3654308

Chiefs’ Johnson under investigation for latest incident involving a woman
ESPN.com news services

KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Kansas City Chiefs running back Larry Johnson is being investigated for allegedly spitting a drink in a woman’s face at a nightclub, the fourth time in five years he’s been accused of assaulting a woman.

Kansas City police are looking into a report of nonaggravated assault against Johnson for telling a woman that he was going to kill her boyfriend then spitting in her face at Club Blonde on Oct. 10.

The case has been assigned to a detective and will be investigated as resources allow, police spokesman Capt. Rich Lockhart said. Johnson has not been charged.

Ashley Stewart, 24, told police she had left the nightclub in Kansas City’s Country Club Plaza district but re-entered around 1:45 a.m. to find a friend. Johnson, who had tried to buy her a drink at the same club a week earlier, asked the friend to have Stewart come over, according to the police report.

Johnson got close to Stewart while swinging his arms belligerently, then said, “All I wanted [to] tell you is I’m going to kill your boyfriend,” the report said.

Johnson kept talking to Stewart and spit the drink in her face after she backed away, the report said.

Stewart told police that Johnson’s bodyguards then tackled her and that bouncers from the club escorted her outside. Johnson tried to spit on her three more times while walking to his car after the club manager asked him to leave, the report said.

Johnson already faces a Dec. 3 court date on a charge of simple assault for shoving the side of a woman’s face at a club in February. He faces a maximum jail term of six months and a $500 fine on the charge filed last month.

The Chiefs deactivated Johnson for Sunday’s game against Tennessee for violating unspecified team rules. A team spokesman said the benching was unrelated to the current investigation, and coach Herm Edwards said Monday that Johnson is expected to play this week against the New York Jets.

NFL spokesman Greg Aiello declined comment, saying the league had nothing to add to a statement issued by Chiefs general manager Carl Peterson on Sunday.

Sources told ESPN’s Michael Smith that the pattern of behavior will lead to a possible suspension for Johnson under the NFL’s personal conduct policy.

“It’s just a matter of for how long,” one source told Smith.

A source close the situation told ESPN.com’s Bill Williamson that Johnson has not had any meetings with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell or has been told of a pending punishment. The source doesn’t necessarily believe Johnson is in the clear, but he simply has not been told of any news yet.

The Chiefs acknowledged Johnson’s latest troubles in a statement Sunday.

“We are aware of the most recent incident involving Larry Johnson and we are very disappointed with his involvement,” team president Carl Peterson said. “We will cooperate fully with the Kansas City authorities who are investigating the matter. We have also made the NFL office in New York aware of the incident and officials there are conducting their own independent investigation.

“Based upon the NFL Player Conduct Policy, we will have no further comment.”

Johnson’s troubles are nothing new.

He was charged in 2003 with felony aggravated assault and misdemeanor domestic battery for waving a gun during an argument with a former girlfriend at his home. The charges were dropped when Johnson agreed to participate in a domestic violence diversion program.

Johnson also had charges against him dropped in 2005 after a woman who accused him of pushing her to the ground at a Kansas City bar failed to appear in three court hearings.

Johnson has rushed for 417 yards and three touchdowns for the Chiefs, who lost to Tennessee to fall to 1-5. In August 2007, the club signed its 2003 first-round draft pick to a six-year, $45 million extension that included $19 million in guarantees.



Goodell to Pacman: Game Over, Cowboy by Matthew Dangerfox

While the owner of this posse may try to lower his hat and turn a blind eye, it seems someone from out of town has had enough of one outlaw. Looks like a night at the saloon turned into a quick-draw, resulting in this renegade’s forced vacation. Now we can only wonder, with Pacman gone, will things remain OK in this corral?


http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/8675324?MSNHPHMA#

NFL suspends Pacman Jones indefinitely

FORT WORTH, Texas (AP) – Not even the extra effort of the Dallas Cowboys could keep Adam “Pacman” Jones from getting into trouble again.

Marvez on Pacman Video: It was clear to Alex Marvez back in July that Pacman Jones hadn’t changed a bit. So why wasn’t it clear to the Cowboys? Watch video Without some significant off-field changes this time, the troubled cornerback may not get another chance to play in the NFL. Jones was suspended for at least four games Tuesday for again violating the league personal conduct policy.

“He knows that when he was reinstated over the summer, I didn’t feel that he had room for any further errors,” NFL commissioner Roger Goodell said. “What happened last week was significant enough for me to take action. There are no free passes. It’s up to him at this point.”

Goodell will determine the full length of the suspension after the Cowboys play Nov. 16 at Washington. The commissioner said a lifetime ban remained a possibility.

Only six weeks after being reinstated from a 17-month suspension and missing the entire 2007 season for the Tennessee Titans because of repeated legal troubles, Jones was involved in an alcohol-related scuffle Oct. 7 with one of his bodyguards at a private party in Dallas.



Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Bengals (or Cowboys) by kennythunder

The two bad boys have come to join the party… Will it be in the end zone, or in the alley? Hold on Cincinnati, the jungle brush is deep with a few ferocious tigers.


http://zachls.blogspot.com/2008/10/cedric-benson-to-bengalslike-hed-end-up.html

Cedric Benson to the Bengals…like he’d end up anywhere else
Certain things are just meant to go together: peanut butter and jelly, Kornheiser and Wilbon, vodka and tonic, vodka and cranberry, vodka and Red Bull, vodka and ice, vodka and a paper cup, vodka and rum (try it!).

Then there’s Cedric Benson and the Cincinnati Bengals. A match made in Leavenworth.

The Bengals, whose players have had a series of legal problems over the last few years, which does not include Chris Henry who is having a legal problem right now and will have another, separate incident in about five minutes, seem like an odd team to take a flier on Benson, who has had his own run-ins with the law.

Seems funny, too, that Bengals president Mike Brown came out with this statement when they released Chris Henry in April:

“Chris Henry has forfeited his opportunity to pursue a career with the Bengals. His conduct can no longer be tolerated.”

But another player’s misconduct?

Hey, when you need a running back…