Gridiron Girl


Fabulous Fantasy Football Tips and Tactics by BDazzle

Hey All! With fantasy football draft season  in full-swing, who better than me, Gridiron Girl — an expert of all things football AND fabulous —  to give you a list of fantasy tips…

Get Pumped.

  • No one likes a mindless follower, so zig when everyone else zags and select a kicker with your first pick. This will signal to everyone that you’re not going to abide by their preconceived notions of “strategy” and “competence.”
  • The second round is considered the “Alliteration Round,” so be on the lookout for players like Ray Rice, Brian Brohm, Joe Jurevicious and Wes Welker.
  • Handcuffing is essential for Fantasy Success — be sure to draft a lot of Cincinnati Bengals.
  • Follow punter stats closely — field position affects scoring on all three phases of fantasy football.
Brad Maynard devastates another Fantasy Team.
  • Know your league scoring format; some leagues use “PPR” scoring. If you are in a Points-Per-Retribution league — where points are scored for cheap shots and poor sportsmanship — consider moving Hines Ward and Albert Haynesworth up your draftboard.
  • Be aware of “bye weeks”: The more players you draft with the same bye week the stronger your team is for the rest of the season.
  • If your draft is in-person, nothing intimidates other owners like the severed head of a pig perched precariously close to the edge of your drafting table.
  • Drafting live is like playing poker. Make sure to wear sunglasses and a promotional hat.
  • If you pick up a Gramatica early, make sure you nab a sibling deeper in the draft… You never can have too many Gramaticas.

  • A league is not won on draft day, but it can be wasted away in a blur of hotwings and Monster energy drink.
  • Remember, fantasy football is primarily for losers. You can avoid this stigma by periodically reminding everyone that you’re still cool by performing Austin Powers impressions and referencing Bud Light commercials.
  • Consistent, and accurate-throwing Chad Pennington is a low-risk, high-reward, fucking-boring choice for QB.
  • Utility players like Chris Cooley are especially valuable; Cooley will have tight end, running back, and finger-pointing duties for the Redskins this season.
  • Drafting other owners’ backup running backs is an excellent way to throw away draft picks AND be a dick.
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Lions’ Mayhew Preps New Pair of Wax Wings by BDazzle
September 27, 2008, 4:49 am
Filed under: Big Talk, Predictions, Rivalries | Tags: , , , , ,

Aiming too high is the downfall of heros, but if Icarus aimed this low would anyone remember him?… Marty Mayhew is about to put his pride is on the line.

(Ed. Note: Pretty sad when your franchise’s #1 goal is to beat a team you beat both times last year while under Matt Millen, and have an impressive record against them in Ford Field.)

5 Questions With Detroit Blogger

http://www.windycitygridiron.com/2008/10/3/627376/5-questions-with-detroit-b

I noticed that after the Millen firing, there seemed to be a team-wide refocus to beat the Bears. First, what’s your prediction of the game, and second, what do the Lions need to do to beat the Bears?

Although I do have a feeling that the Lions could come out and pull off the upset due to all of the recent events, I think the Bears will win by a field goal or so.  Detroit can win if they play a balanced game where they don’t get behind early.  If they can keep it close after three quarters and never get down by more than a touchdown, then this is definitely winnable.  The most important things are that the offense limits its mistakes and the defense doesn’t give up any big plays.  It is expected that Chicago will have a pretty good day offensively as most teams do when they play the Lions.  However, if Detroit can contain Kyle Orton and Matt Forte and put some points up on the board themselves, then this could be closer than many expect it to be.